Friday, October 31, 2008
back home alone AGAIN..
it's 2am liao.. and im here blogging again..
alot of Questions in my mind..
realli giving myself alot of stress..
i realli lost.. realli hope someone is there holding on me..
sharing everything with me... den asking and asking wad to do..
cuz me, myself is also confused.. i dun even noe myself..
how wont i noe... how to answer u all..
the more u all ask... the more stress i am..
do u all noe how many times i realli feel like tearing infront of u all..
cuz im lost.. so lost.. till i have no way to walk, go or carry on....
im foolish.. i noe.. but...
i have no ways out.. if can.. i oso hope i can turn back the time by just 1 month. just 1 month will do and i dun ask for much.. and i dun think now i have to face all this stress tt i having...
he seems no longer care..
he seems so stranger..
he is someone who give me warm when he hold me tight..
but now.. he is just right beside me.. and i can feel the coldness...
the coldness tt i had nv get from him before..
i noe i have no right to say all this..
but.. somehow it's so xin ku to hide with a smile everyday...
he seems sooo close with her.. til i realli dun wanna see, dun wanna look or dun wanna even noe..
i hope im blind.. at tt moment.. when u all seems sooo close..
im scare.. im scare.. im sooo scare... i cannot take it..
depression is on the way to find me..
i can feel it's coming.. cuz im realli breaking down.. im stress..
jie, im sorry to make u worry, make u tired.. im sorry~
im a very lan de meimei.. i apologise..
i noe i had make a very big mistake.. but hope u can guide me the last time..
cuz im realli lost in this world.. and tears cant help any.... all i noe is to tear.
cuz i realli canot take it.. sorry, i love you...
to him,
i miss u badly.. but i noe u wont care..
just hope everything going on fine for u..
and im glad and happy~....
but somehow scare u have someone new who replaced me..
but i noe at this moment.. i dun even stand a part anymore..
im sorry... u cant be blame.. only MYSELF!!!
ily~
The sweetness addiction that i need.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
im back from Genting..
not realli a very fun one.. but still a relax one..
=) it's so long since i last had a nice holiday trip with my jiejie..
feelin so loved from her =)
will upload pics asap when i can get it from all of them..
i have to complain tt Malaysia Service is SUCKS can?
Casino Aunti and Uncles will nv say "Excuse Me" "Sorry" "Thank You"
they just step on u as at when they like.. they knock into u.. all the do just look back and stare for a second without any word and walk off...
sometime just felt tt, at the level of serivce in singapore.
we shouldnt complain anything....
all we do is to walk, sit, eat and sleep..
i dun realli gamble.. just to pei my jiejie as i have to take care of her..
nv play any theme park, cuz im not allow too.. and if i went, no one take care of my jiejie..
lunch and dinner is soo yummy.. all we do is keep eating..
realli can feel the FATS in me now.. *dead*
realli a relax holiday lahh..
but somehow when back in s'pore everything seems so stress again!..
just hope this holiday nv come to an end..
i hate to stay at home..
The sweetness addiction that i need.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
I'm Not Strong.. Eventually She Pull Me Down Den Giving Me Her Full Support!
I Hate Her..!
i know in the first place im in the wrong.
but why is she bringing up old things and say...?
there is nuthing to do with wadever past thing..
im so lost at this moment...
wad is she expecting me to do?
true as she said that it wil be so much easiler for me to have a life..
but............ but how u wanna me to face it?
she say she has no money..
need money for this new house..
but wad i seeing her doing is playing mahjong like a taitai,
go for hair lesson like a taitai attention hobby courses..
she work? i dun think soo...
and she even claim that I NEVER GIVE HER A SINGLE CENT!
is i nv give her? or she thinks tt not enough is nv give?
who will not dulan?
since the guy tt day can shout in my face and tell me tt.
he is the one tt pay for this family..
den why is she standing here complaining tt
she has no money for this family?
Now saying tt bringing me up is so diff..
tt i nv try to listen to her.. but did she ever lend her listening ear to me..?
now wad she wans from me?
wanna stress me till i jump is it?
everyone is supporting me, except her.. EXCEPT HER!!!
i realli dunno... damn lost now..
im going crazy! i dunno wad i gonna do next!
SHE IS MAKING ME NO WAY TO GO TO!!!
SHE IS MAKING ME CRAZY!!!
SHE IS MAKING ME TO DO FOOLISH THINGS!!
DAMN HER!!!!!!!!!
i dunno wad to do now.. im lost~
The sweetness addiction that i need.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Im No Longer Lonely
like how i used to be...
I gonna learn to be strong although i noe i cant
I gonna be thick skin to save more money
I gonna do all wadever i can..
I MUST BE STRONG!!
which at this moment i noe i cant..
i need time to overcome this sudden shock too.
The sweetness addiction that i need.
When i seriously need someone, this buddy of mine is always there for me.
trying his 101 ways just to cheer me up. . .
Thanks Rx aka Pong aka Old Uncle... even how i rejected, u are always there to lend me ur shoulder. . . but the more u done it.. the more hurtful i felt in my heart to let u see i tear... to let u noe im sad. . . .
Not i dun wanna share my problems like how i used to be..
cuz this time round no one can help.. realli no one...
He make his trip down just to get me this porridge..
Realli dun have any appit... but force myself..
Thanks BUDDY!!!
The Best I Had Do..
Clearer Look...
feeling the warm of the porridge in my stomach now..
felt im so loved suddenly... although the one i wish for to care me is not him..
but still as a Buddy, he nv fail to care whenever he could.. today u r the onli one who make me smile once.. ONCE!!!
Back lying on my bed alone..
thinking the problems and things..
thinking the moment u shelter me with love...
now wad i can do.. is to hug my pooh, pillow, blanket into tears..
i noe im childish.. i noe im nuts.. i trying to grow..
but no chance will be given again.. ur sweet smses/msges are long gone..
do i still stand a part? just a 1% will do..
trying ways to be ur prefect happy girl.. but sometime it's not me..
i dunno can u feel im acting.. but just to make u feeling beta.. i have to suffer..
i cant say i love u till eternity..
but i can say i love u baby.. argh.. i have no rights to say tt.. *slap*
waiting a day for ur name to appear on my phone once again..
hope u enjoy urself tonight..
cuz i can see, without me.. u r much more more happier..
so to see u happy, i trying to pull back my every step..
even throw my phone one side.. try not to reach u..
somehow my heart dun listen to me.. bb, i ♥ you still..
The sweetness addiction that i need.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Somehow 22.10.08 is a day im looking forward too..
i dunno how abt u guys who are reading..
A day, u said tt we can go out. Maybe for a movie, dinner, walk.. etc..
but now.. 22.10.08 let my life gone down to O when i noe the news..
22.10.08, the day u throw me on a lonely road..
22.10.08, the day u break another promise..
22.10.08, the day u enjoy yet im waiting for ur return of smses
22.10.08, the day i read all the conversation we made, whether it's msn/sms.
22.10.08, the day tt again i cry for another guy like a kid crying over a sweet..
22.10.08, the day tt all kill me at one time go..
22.10.08, the day i cracking my brains try to read ur msg to understand u from there.
22.10.08, a date im lost of words..
22.10.08, a date tt make me regrets..........
msg to loved loved
sorry, promise to be a happy girl but now i break ur promise for this post..
it took me an hour plus to finish this post...
cuz, the news, ur leave realli cant stop me from crying..
too many things bombing at the same time..
give me a little time.. i promise i will be back myself..
ur Happy Girl..
The sweetness addiction that i need.
It's All Over..!
no tears drop down my cheek..
maybe i realli understand of being numb..
nw i can noe the feeling of his..
being so tired.. ... ...
okay, wake up will be a brand new day for me..
Cheerful Serene is Out for Animals Again..
WOW WOW WOW!
Open this blog cuz of him, cuz i promise to be a Happy Girl...
therefore.. although it's all ended.. but still..
my promise is still a promise...
i will still be a Happy Girl... ....
Serene carry on being a Happy Girl... =)
The sweetness addiction that i need.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Unhappy day follow by a happy go lucky day.
Unhappy Day~
had a very BIG tiff with LOVED LOVED.. just realli cant read his mind wad he is thinking.. maybe im just too simple.. simple till im too childish..
Like wad he ALWAYS SAID... im a kid.. yesh indeed i am..
if not, i dun need ur love/dote..
maybe like wad i always said. i cant read you. u did love/dote.
sometime i realli can feels it... but most of the time is not..
Somehow ur msg today make me nearly tear infront of them..
but im old enough to keep my personal life aside...
still, at the end of the day, im still a old cheerful serene that im used to be.. =)
cuz, ur msg brighter up me from calling me not pulling personal feelings to work.. =)
so I DID IT! wow wow! clap clap to Happy Girl....
Happy Day~
Emily and Daphne is finally back from Bangkok and had a great laugh and chit chat with them..
They said that they actually realli find my present lo. and they got me this T-Shirt..
OMG! 50% Single
Realli making me LOL when i saw it.. argghhh~ lolx..Of cuz i wont miss those tidbits in shop~ yummy... =p
Garlic Bread & something taste like plum
Yum yum.. but of cuz i not gonna finish them all right now.. lolx...
I had a new WALLET! ♥♥♥
thanks a billion to my jiejie.. to save my pocket~.. lolx...
LaLaLaLa... bleahs... im tired again.. not feeling very good =.=..
my stomach is giving me non stop problems.. tomolo dunnno wanna wake up wad time and see doctor.. stil hoping for his sms for dim sum which is a promise from him to me.. although we had a very BIG tiff.. seems like he is not gonna have it with me le.. T_T sometime realli feel like slapping myself for not contorlling my emotions...
as like wad loved loved said. he need a peace.. so let him be....
but a promise from me to him, im still ur Happy Girl... no tears..
The sweetness addiction that i need.
Post Removed..
Due to some Personal Behaver..
Serene just wanna be a Happy Girl.. =)
The sweetness addiction that i need.
Monday, October 20, 2008
arrgghhh.. today wasn't my day.. =(
had a very bad headache.. even having panadol from ann is not enough..
after working as today im on Opening..
headed down to IMM with Bryan to get My MeiMei Sonia 1st year old birthday present.
and we headed Poh Heng for this.. ♥ ♥
Disney for Babies~
I ♥ this..
Got this for Sonia
In Box
It comes with a pooh bear..
The Pooh is naughty to peep at me..
Once got it.. i dun feel like giving to Sonia le..
it's so CUTE! T_T can i have the bear and the anclet for Sonia wil do?
argghh... how i wish im a baby now and someone get it for me.. T_T
lolx..
Bryan even mention tt, he is afraid once i bring it home, it will nv be back.. lolx.
can u imagine how dear pooh bear is to me? lolx.. I WAN IT!!!!! ♥
in ♥ with pooh
Love Love had planned for a Zoo Trip yesterday..
so we requested 6 nov on off.. wow! wow!
so long nv go liao.... looking forward to tt.. =) Animals here we COME!
We're going to the Zoo Zoo Zoo.. How about You You You??
Loved Loved sended a touched msg ytd.. =)
it brighten up my day by tt msg.. and a cared msg in the afternoon..
felt so loved.. although all he did is just a msg..
but like i said.. for him, i cant ask for much.. this will already bring a =) on my face..
love him ♥
tagtag replied; ♥
Juan: Hey gal, jus do wat u wan.. Those hu luv u will understand ur intentions n support you. Dun let ppl pull u down. But i know u can pull urself up! Luv ya
reply: thank you~ Luv Ya...
jac: change. anw, when wana mitup wit me. gal oways rmb i am jus 1 col away frm u no matter wat.
reply: i wil call you .. realli thanks my piglet~..
♥Qinyi: lol bad -.- i ask xh buy for me LALALA
reply: i had mine this morning.. =p *bleah*
Roy™: relink liao
reply: okie.. u will always get my blog link... =.="
KEL-LOVE: thanks for ur "菊花" tea...looking forward to the zoo zoo zoo..how about u.u..u...?? hahaz
reply: =) of cuz.. im looking forward.... *muackx*
cody: hoho.. didntt relink me. and ALSO didnt ask me to relink you !!!! sad liao lor.
reply: sayang la.. lolx. wil relink okie? =)
The sweetness addiction that i need.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Suddenly again, feel like closing down this blog..
cuz someone may read and feel uncomfortable...
and quarrels will come ahead after tt...
Blog for me is like a friend of mine..
tell bloggie all the things tt i cant tok to anyone..
therefore i blogged..
but now.. seems like.. he is reading..
somehow i cannot blog.. if not, he will feels im childish, rubbish, nv grow up... etc..
i dunno.. FAN ARGHH! i have no one and nuthing to face too..
all i can do is to hide..
wad if it's overflow.... when at tt point, i blow up will u able to comfort me..
or will be adding in oil to add fire?
im lost...
again... im lost..
Happy moment always very short =(
The sweetness addiction that i need.
tagtag replied; ♥
ravinia: hey.. where can i d'l the m3 for the song playing on ur blog? i like the song
reply: ermmm.. not very sure. i always listen from imeem.. =)
♥Qinyi: i want eat sausage mac muffin? idk correct or not.
reply: lolx.. dun tell me, i wont get it for u.. lolx... =p
♥Qinyi: hahaha lalalala, lalalala elmo song!
reply: =.=" ger u okie?
KEL-LOVE: hmph...who is ur loved loved ??? never shared. see u at work tml !!!i'm mid-shift. Sick man!
reply: get to see u but nv tok to u.. cuz u r sick T_T i miss u.. and loved loved is a mimi.. lolx.. =p
The sweetness addiction that i need.
Thanks A Billion to Elwina...
she bought this Winnie The Pooh Pillow for me. as she bought one for Sonia Too..
Felt sooo loved...
she bought this Winnie The Pooh Pillow for me. as she bought one for Sonia Too..
Felt sooo loved...
Today 18.10.2008
My lovelove Kelly is sick today therefore she is on MC.. T_T
saw her.. wanna tok to her. but it's my roaming timing.. therefore, when i go and find her den i release that she is on MC.. she has no voice to tok to customer at all.. i think tomolo she will be on MC too.. T_T *sayang*
Hope Kelly Love Love Get Well Soon =)
A Date made from Loved Loved just now tt going Dum Sim on Wednesday..
looking forward.. although i noe everytime will turn out a disappointment.. but at least.. this will keep me looking forward to the next day.. =)
Dun realli have alot of time tt can spend with him.. due to working hours.. T_T
but i think to him is okie. cuz like wad he always said.. PRIVACY!
but, to me.. if u realli need those. den forget of getting into a r/s
but still.. my heart will nv listen to me.. but him. arggghh... T_T
hate u controling my heart.. *hump*
misses
The sweetness addiction that i need.
Friday, October 17, 2008
who wanna get this for me tomolo morning,,??
Yummy.. suddenly craving for this siaa... arhhhh my stomach is asking me to fill it with Hotcakes.. *yummy*
HOTCAKE WITH SAUSAUGE!
feel like having this tomolo morning.. but dunno can wake up maaa.. lolx.. arghhh~argghhh.. tired tired... argghh.. who will be the nice person goanna get it for me le...?
tomolo gonna work full again den sunday working mid shift..
argghhh... Daphne, Emily and Rx all not around.. damn it.. sian sian sian...
Yesterday 16.10.2008
yesterday finally have a nice night with LOVED LOVED
have some chit chat.. feelin so tired yet keep wanna be awake just to pei LOVED
just dunno how to type out the feeling la.. =)
but seems like.. LOVED's parents.. ermmm.. quite fierce.. T_T
and LOVED keep saying.. IM FAT! damn it.. okie okie.. im FAT!
den dump me into rubbish bin baaa..
keep having un-natural feelings.. seems like something bad is gonna happen soon..
argghh.. hope it's wrong.. and very wrong.. im scare..
i dun wish anything bad comes to me again..
i had enough..
no matter wad... hope LOVED LOVED just be there for me will do..
tagtag replied; ♥
SuPeRDeViL: Siao zharbo mei?
reply: devil kor?
Lijun: Girl, IMISSYOUs so much wors ):
reply: hey i miss u too.. u think onli u ma? T_T
The sweetness addiction that i need.
tagtag replied; ♥
LAOMAO: what happen to yr blog? o.0 stay happy kiizx.
reply: nuthing happen.. just wanna start anew.. leave all my memories at the BACK~..
♥Qinyi: lala (:
reply: ?? wad "lala" ? lolx.. euu ar..
xiaoxian: Oie change link also nv sae!
reply: not i nv say.. hahaaa if i nv say u oso unable to come here.. dun u? lolx. at least there is a link at my old bloggie ma.. =p misses~
The sweetness addiction that i need.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
pray pray pray~
tomolo will be a important day for me..
hope god realli dote me this time round..
please.... .... and i mean it... ...
serene wanna be a happy girl... ...
The sweetness addiction that i need.
Monday, October 13, 2008
a very new and clean blog as i can say..
it's time for me to grow up and get myself a life..
not stayin in the pass.. =)
all the past will stay put at www.unloved-serene.blogspot.com ...
all are memories, just kept it there...
Thanks to the SOMEONE who scolded me up..
u give me a life.. just tt i need time to prove =)
i can do it.. and so can u..
i will behave who i am from now on..
i will try not to hide...
happy just SMILE!..
sad just CRY!...
share... share... share...
serene is now a happy girl!!
The sweetness addiction that i need.
